Week 6 Story: Satyavati's Demise
Donald A. Mackenzie
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Satvyati resting on her boat. [source]
The sweet innocent girl she had once been had now been clouded. All the years of being turned away fro her peculiar odor turned into anger which she now turned into pride. many kings sought to marry her and so she would lead them on, marrying them for their royalty until they died and would find another. She did this with no remorse. One day, she found out she had become pregnant by her current husband, king Shantanu. She was thrilled for she was about to fulfill her promise that she once made to herself long ago. She was so eager that one day she mentioned to the king, "Oh, I cannot wait for our child, the next heir, to arrive!" To her dismay the king replied, "I cannot make our child the next heir because I have promised the throne to my son already". Hearing this, Satyavati was enraged. The child was born and without telling her husband, she set the child in a basket and passed it to a flock of geese that flew by. This was a punishment to her husband who could not wait to have the child.
King Shantanu was angered with this and sentenced Satyavati to be exiled from his kingdom.
With this, Satyavati was once again, alone.
Author's note: In the original story we read about Satyavati's fortune that came into her life. In this story, I created a plot twist where things could have gone differently.
I really love how you expanded Satyavati's story but your author's note left me a little unsure about what the plot twist was as I have not read the whole of that chapter. Satyavati's character made sense in its progression into arrogance, and I like how you were able to clarify the how and the why she changed in personality. I think I would just make the author's note a little more clear so the reader knows what has been changed.
ReplyDeleteHi Catalina!
ReplyDeleteI liked reading your story about Satyavati's story. I think you did a good job on describing on why she was so bitter about her smell and how she changed after she no longer had that fishy odor. I can't believe she agreed to just have a child with that man who gave her new scent. I understand why she did it, but it was still shocking. Also, I feel like what she did to her husband was so cruel and just sending her child away. Overall, you did a good job telling the story and creating that plot twist!
Hey Catalina,
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story! You clearly described Satyavati and her worries of her odor. I feel like you could elaborate on the twist a little more, because it seemed to be a bit confusing and unclear. A more descriptive author's note could help in this situation as well! Good work
Hey Catalina! I really loved your story. You did an amazing job with the imagery and really getting the reader into the story. I think it would be a good idea to elaborate a little more in your author's note. Pointing out specifically what you changed or just a few more words summarizing what the original had would really help the readers see what changed.
ReplyDeleteHey Catalina! Great job on this story! One thing that I am left wondering after reading it is what happened to the son that she agreed to bare for the brahmin? I think that it would be interesting if you included details about how her fishy smell repelled the men she was attracted to away from her and maybe you put a twist on the story where she goes back and seduces the men that rejected her and marries them solely for her benefit
ReplyDeleteHi Catalina!
ReplyDeleteWhat a strong protagonist- you wrote Satyavati with such clear motivations and explanation, and I appreciated having a little extra insight into her actions. It’s unfortunate that she was so obsessed with her kid getting the throne that she decided she’d rather give it to a goose but such is life in India haha. The picture works well and the Author’s Note could maybe use a bit more meat. Thanks for sharing!