Introduction to Busy College Student
My name is Catalina Cardenas. I am a Senior at the University of Oklahoma. My major is Health & Exercise Science along with pre-nursing. I am also in the National Guard so I have been looking into the PA program offered through the military. I spent nine months on deployment in Kuwait and it was definitely an experience. That slightly set me back in school so I am slowly started to catch up. The image above is a photo I took of a bazaar in Kuwait. I started out as an education major since growing up that has always been a passion of mine but then I veered away from that after my first semester of college. This past summer I took classes nonstop since the end of spring so I was not able to travel. I have a couple of trips planned throughout the rest of the semester and also at the very end. Every winter break I am able to travel back to visit family in Mexico so I will be visiting there also. I was able to maintain a 3.5 GPA last semester so this semester I am going for a
What an awesome story! The way you described Carli's actions and thoughts throughout the years really helped to paint a picture of her character. Although she's not a very nice person and I probably wouldn't to be around her, I can't help but feel sorry for her. The life lesson taught in this story and the outcome really goes to show that your current actions can have negative impacts on your future life. Additionally, I really enjoyed the layout and banners that you chose for you project, they are quite fitting!
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I might add on the home page is maybe a sentence or two of what your project is about so the reader kind of goes into the readings with that in mind. Just a brief overview if you will.
Overall though, I was interested in finding what the outcome of the story was and was hooked throughout. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your stories later in the semester!
Wow Neko! I just wanted to say that I loved your story! You had my attention from the beginning till the very end! To me this was a heart gripping story! I really enjoyed how you took the concept of karma and wrote a story that unfortunately happens in real life! A big take away from your story, to me, is that we all need to be like Tommy! Quick to forgive and always having the feelings of others before ourselves. Overall, again, I believe you wrote a great story! One thing I might add, is you could write a little introduction telling the readers what to expect for the following stories. This could then allow the readers to pick and choose what stories they want to read. Besides that, keep up the good work! Have a great weekend, and good luck with the rest of your semester! I look forward to reading more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Cathy! Karma was an incredibly tragic story, but I appreciated how you realistically portrayed what would happen to Carli if she behaved the way she did. There were no frills or a magic ending to save the characters. Ultimately, Carli had to pay for her behavior and end up alone and sad. This was very poignant. I like how you developed your character through their actions and dialogue with other characters; this is a very interesting way to get to know a character. Was Carli 's poor character a result of her jealousy? Did her need for attention come from feeling overshadowed by him? Compassion for yourself is a very important part growth; maybe Carli or another more enlightened character, like Tommy, could demonstrate their understanding of Carli's deeper reasons for behaving badly. This could help Carli heal and the reader could take a deeper lesson of understanding with them. On the other hand, the way you leave the story to its natural conclusion could also be more effective. Great story!
ReplyDeleteThe way your project is set up is amazing. The background images and the links all work so well. I read your story about karma and thought it was so good. I like that you were so creative with it by taking this idea of karma and making something of your own. You even set it in the modern world. Some people take the exact story from the reading and add a plot twist or change a couple characters. I like that you went all the way and made your own story from a central theme in the readings. The story was beautifully written. It was a simple story, but a powerful one. I wonder what it is that made her so selfish? I also wonder what her parents tried to do to combat it. The ending is so sad, but also she definitely got what she deserved. I wonder if she will change her ways after where the story ended. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteHi Cathy, I really liked reading the story. You do a very good job of setting up the backstory for Carli and her lifestyle. I think that it was very well done and made the ending far more relatable and understandable. As an only child, I definitely resonate with Carli to some degree, but I like to think that I would be far more open to a new member of our family. One thing that I am curious about is why she chose not to return his calls ever. Perhaps it is a hyperbolization of her jealousy, but it was just something I got hung up on. It would be interesting to see what would happen at the end of the story if the betrayal of her brother only hardened her heart towards him. Overall, this was an excellent story, and I really enjoyed it. Hope you have a good semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Cathy! I really liked how you made the first story of your own to go with the theme of Karma that you had chosen. It was creative and original since it was your own characters. That always makes a story interesting. The second story wasn't as innovative, which made sense since it was a rewrite of another but I still think you could have done more to make it yours. You are giving a different perspective, and there could have been more characterization. Also, since it is a different perspective than the original, it's okay and really cool to add in your own bits of commentary from the character and things that he might see that the original story wouldn't have. This helps bring a story to life, and at this point, I felt like your story was more of a retelling as opposed to a story. Just a little bit of embellishment and I think that it would be awesome!
ReplyDeleteOne thing that confused me was the differences in the context and themes of the stories. They didn't each give a lesson and one while entirely original and about a theme while the other was not. I think you could give a short introduction on your home page or a new introduction page just to establish that these are simply stories about life - aka, like your title states, Life's Stories. I think stating that they are only connected because they are at the same website blog will clarify your portfolio.
I also could have used an introduction in the second story, just to help settle a reader into it as opposed to jumping feet-first! This is a great start!
Hey Cathy! I really liked the way you wrote the story. You set up the backstory for Carli really well and made it easy to follow along. It made it easy to understand what was going on and why she acted the way she did. I'm not an only child, but I was the youngest so I was the one that my siblings had to share with. I may not relate to her side, but I can relate to my siblings sharing with me! It was an intense scene when she wouldn't answer his calls and what the result of that came to be. The ending really sealed the story and gave a good sense of what the result of her lifestyle had caused. I saw the relation to karma and you did a good job of tying the topic up in the author's note. Overall, I enjoyed the story! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeletehi cathy! what a great story, from the second i started reading it i was hooked, you do such an awesome job of making her personality come through in your writing. I like how you gave examples of how she was stingy and did not like having a brother. You really make carli sound like a spoiled little girl so it was fun to read on how exactly she got her way but at the same time i was feeling sorry for tommy. the ending was such a sad turn but it was interesting how you chose her to learn her lesson. Since i am the youngest i can only think of how my older brothers think of me but this story is a great lesson on how to share and be kind to your siblings. After she found out her dad died did she change or did she stay the same? the ending was so sad and you did such a good job of bringing out my emotions through your writing, awesome job!
ReplyDeleteHey Cathy,
ReplyDeleteI really like your page. You have picked nice pictures for your page that really go well with your story. I really like idea of Karma and reading your story about Karma was such a easy read. Your story followed really well together. You have a good talent for writing. Now going back to your story, It was very tragic like Jessica said. From the beginning I just kept on reading because I wanted to find out what would happen next. I liked the way you had your story of in the modern day. This gave it a different spin from the epics since that was a long time ago. I like the way the story ended. It showed the idea of Karma and just an example of you get what you deserve. I look forward to reading more of your stores because I really like them. Keep you the good work!
Hi Cathy!
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading Karma, I was sure that Carli would change sooner than later. Then she continued to be selfish throughout her marriage and adulthood. It was sad to see what her conceited behavior caused. The fact that she didn't even know her father had passed because she was so self-absorbed really shocked me. She probably never even took the time to think about what the consequences to her actions were and then boom, her father is dead. I think you did a great job capturing the audience with your story. I don't know if your goal for the audience was to dislike Carli, but if it was, you succeed. I did not find myself empathizing with her until the very end. Great story!
Hey Cathy,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time coming across your portfolio, but not your story! I see that you have edited your stories from your blog! I really enjoyed your Karma story because it was very well written. We are often lost in our own world because we are just too focused on some things going on in our lives. You did an amazing job describing your characters and really holding your story together. Great job!
Hey Cathy!
ReplyDeleteI really loved reading your portfolio. You have obviously put in a lot of work on it and it has paid off. Your stories are are great and fun to read and I love how you have made these tales your own. My only advice is maybe include a few more images, at least on the first story. Overall, though, you have done a great job and I really liked reading your works. Good luck with the end of the semester!
Hey Cathy!
ReplyDeleteHonesty is the best policy, I've definitely learned that over the years! Your story did such a great job at explaining why without having to truly explain. I must say that I was relieved to realize that everything was just a dream, such a close call! The story about kindness is an example of how we should all strive to be and did an excellent job at how we can maybe look at ways of working on that. Your stories truly are life lessons and I really enjoyed reading them.
The only suggestion I have is to maybe look for ways to transition your sentences from one to the next. I noticed that you started a lot of sentences with "I" and think that if you used some transition words, it would help the story flow a bit better (not that it was bad at all).
Overall though, great job and congratulations on the end of the semester!
Hey Cathy!
ReplyDeleteI just looked over your portfolio project, and I really enjoyed it! I thought you did a great job on your stories! I really liked the one about karma. It was cool how you changed the story completely from the original, but still managed to keep the overall message the same about karma. When I was reading your story, I thought Carli would learn her lesson since she grew up, but it was sad to see she didn't and it was too late. I couldn't imagine how she felt for all those years she pushed her family away like that. You did a good job conveying how karma could take up to years to happen and that it doesn't have to happen instantly. One suggestion that I got from others was also including a brief description of my stories on the home page. Overall, I thought you did a really great job and keep up the good work!
Hey Cathy,
ReplyDeleteI just spent some time looking over your story book project and I ave to say i was really impressed with how well designed your page is. It is really good that it is so easy to be able to navigate from story to story and get a great sense of how much effort you have put into this project over the semester. Your stories are so great too, I loved being able to read each and every one that you used for this project. the only suggestion that I have that may have helped make your stories better is if you would have used a few more transition words in your stories just to make them flow just a little bit better. Good luck with finals this next week.